45: We need never be hopeless

Please, remember this.

“We need never be hopeless because we are never irreparably broken.” – John Green

I need to remember it. When the nights get long. Or I notice just how long it has been since I wore real pants. Or a breeze hits and sends my nerves into a tizzy.

I am not irreparably broken. Sure, I was shipped with some damaged parts, but those are not what defines me. They don’t stop me from doing normal things – I go to work…

I cook…

I paint…

I knit…

I read…

I walk everywhere I can…

I have friends…

I have family…

When you look at it, I am not so broken.

Even if the insurance company won’t cover the drug that makes such a difference. Even if this time the treatments aren’t working like they are supposed to. Even if this time I’m grasping at happy. Even if this time being positive feels like a lie.

My mom keeps telling me it works like a Jedi mind trick – if I keep telling myself there is hope and things are pretty ok, eventually my mind will believe it. Maybe I need these words as my computer background so I don’t forget. It isn’t hopeless. What’s broken can be fixed.